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A Dream [Wednesday 8:14pm March 17th]

Here is a disturbing dream I had a few nights ago. I'm thinking of writing a story to follow up to it. I described it as best as I could. Unfortunately, my protagonist was killed in my dream, along with the antagonist, so I had to add and remove stuff. Sorry.

The hot poker sent a shockwave of pain and pleasure deep in his core. He'd never felt anything so agonizing, yet thrilling. Warm liquid fell from his mouth, and he began to cough. That still didn't help the choking and the agony. "I-I'm s-so sorry." The girl--his girl--whispered. She held him close to her, apologizing silently and hysterically in his ear. He stared into her tearful blue orbs with his brilliant hazel ones, and admired her red hair that shone beautifully in the pale moonlight of that night. The moon was full. In fact, it was a blue moon.

He found it ironic that she was killing him, rather than vice-versa. He was the crazy psychopath thirsty for murder. He was the insane and morbid one. Yet, she had shocked him again. She was the most unpredictable person he'd ever met in his entire life. That's why he liked her. Or, liked her as much as a psycho could've.

What he felt towards her wasn't love. It was obsession and powerful urges to destroy her fragile body and mentality, and take away her innocence, something which he had done uneasily and successfully. But, their 'love-making' was anticlimatic, something he'd expected. The one thing that his mind was deprived of was sexual attraction. Rape wasn't as fun as those molesters put it to be. What really was climatic, though, was the way she screamed when his hand contracted with the side of her face. Climatic was the abuse. He needed to abuse her. It was all in the games they played.

"It's okay darling. Remember what I said to you?" He asked hoarsely. He unfolded the pocket knife that he had skillfully hidden in the palm of his hand that day and stabbed as hard as he possibly could in her back. The effect was immediate. She began to choke, and started falling on top of him. They both landed in a pool of their intermixed blood together, she gasping for air and he casually stroking her hair.

"We're going to die together." 

[Thursday 11:44pm April 30th]

My mind is confused
My heart is a mess
What you are thinking
i can never guess

You contact me randomly
Out of the blue
And just at the time
i feel im getting over you

Its lke you can sense it
Its like you somehow now
You youself dont want me
Yet you dont want me to let go

I get excited when i see your name
I like it when you say hi
but i think the time has come
for me to say goodbye..

Goodbye is forever
Goodbye is for real
Its the only way i know
how to stop the way that i feel


Poem: Psychosis [Friday 11:10am February 2nd]

[ mood | depressed ]

Voices take over my mind and plague my soul,
Delve deep to the core until I loose control,
Can’t shake them off, can’t run and hide,
They’re surrounding me and I’m breaking inside.
Staring down the path, can’t help but listen,
As the taunts become louder, my eyes start to glisten,
I quicken my pace, as I fight back the tears,
Pull my hood up, try to block out my fears.

Dark figures are stalking me behind every tree,
Using passers by to gain on me,
Never free it seems, almost too much to bare,
Constantly living in this horrific nightmare.
Now everyone is staring with their piercing eyes,
They’re all out to get me but they’re all in disguise,
Secretly plotting they’ll get me one day,
Please God keep me safe from these demons I pray.

I jump on the bus, eyes down, head low,
Must not think badly, I’m surrounded they’ll know,
I pass a crying toddler whilst the mother scolds her,
And before I could stop it, the words entered ‘bad mother’.
They pierced through my mind like a mortal curse,
Amplified by invisible speakers, throughout the bus,
No one looks up too offended to speak,
I hurry off the bus as shame reaches it’s peak.

A light rain begins to fall as I look up to the sky,
And I collapse onto my knees, I have made the Lord cry,
I plead for his forgiveness and now my own tears flow,
As a spirit appears smiling, and beckons for me to follow.
She leads me to a station, but now the voices have returned,
I’m trembling uncontrollably and people have gathered all concerned,
They’re frantic words are muffled by a more sinister sounding tone,
Demanding that I end my life for in this world I am alone.

The spirit leaves my side as I enter the station,
Now knowing my fate, no more hesitation,
I shiver as I hear the low steady rumble,
Down the last step onto the platform I stumble.
Up to the forbidden hazardous yellow line,
A warning sounds, it’s just in time,
“Now” scream the voices, and in front of the train,
I jump at last and end my pain.


untitled #3 [Friday 3:16pm December 29th]

[ mood | artistic ]

My eyes open again,
Harsh wind beating against the house
On this cold Christmas night,

I hestate a bit before drawing the curtains on my sight,
Knowing full well that when I do
You’ll gracefully take the stage,
Your dance telling the tale of our love,

Gentle brushstroke steps at first,
Timid and taken with care,
Acclerates steadily,
The quickening beat of my heart the metronome,
Routine begins to flow smoothly
Even though it’s always a been a little different each time,

Without warning you come to a
Looking around you appear frantic,
And as if a draft blew in you clutch your arms
Shivering as the spotlight fades to black

Applauses rises forth from the audience,
Snapping open are my eyes again,
In the darkness silence is
B r o k e n by the clapping of the harsh wind

Pulling the blankets over my chattering teeth,
I curl up clutching my arms
And close my eyes again
*cue the curtain*


[Friday 1:05pm December 15th]

Here they come
They march in twos
The girls and boys
The pinks and blues
They're holding hands
And locking eyes
They're touching lips
And pressing thighs
They're on parade
For all to see
Beautiful people
Living beautifully
A secret club
You join in twos
The girls and boys
The pinks and blues
One all alone
Can't come to play
You'll try again
Another day
The girls and boys
The pinks and blues
But all alone
You'll only lose
Now, turn away
And hide your face
Cause all alone
You're a disgrace
You lived unloved
By girls and boys
But don't you cry
Don't make a noise
Just hang your head
And watch alone
This long parade...
Then head for home.

pardon me... [Tuesday 7:37am October 17th]


**this is the first time i wrote something angsty....i hope it doesn't suck too much~**
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[Friday 6:38pm September 22nd]

So shut your eyes
[The blue’s too bright]
It’s blinding me
Just let me be
Just let me live
Without your face
Inside my mind
Still plaguing me
So shut your eyes
And walk away
I am too weak
You can not stay
So leave me please
Don’t hold my hand
No more, my friend
Please understand
If you love me
Don’t touch me so
Just leave me be
And let me go
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[Tuesday 12:31pm August 29th]

Hello. I can't recall whether I've posted here before or not, but if I have, it has been quite a while. Well, here I am again!
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Hi [Saturday 9:30pm July 8th]

[ mood | content ]

Hi everyone.
Just wanted to introduce myself cos i have just joined this community. I'm kind of new to this whole Livejournal thing so dont quite get the idea but it looks a nice place here and i look forward to reading more of the posts.
Take care everyone

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To my dearest friend, [Thursday 11:53pm June 15th]

[ mood | hungry ]

To my dearest friend,
You could've have sad goodbye. It was the last day of school, you could've said goodbye. No, you stared with your big blue eyes, but you never spoke... never moved. And then you watched, as I turn and run into the bathroom. A secruity blanket for sorrowful times in the school yards, and cried. You watched me, but did you act? Comfort the girl you've known since september, the girl who loves you, the girl you once loved a long time ago? No. You watch. We have drifted apart, and you have fallen for her. The barriers of social conflict inbetween us are at large, but if I call you can here me, no? The sorrow withen my heart I cannot express with song or poetic stanzas, but with inspiring words to unkown onlookers reading this lovely note to you. This lovely note which will never be deliverd. Never spoke of. And know as I ask would you die for me, I do not want you to answer with the reply I desire to hear but with the truth  breaking free of your lips. Would you take a bullet to the heart for me, as I for you? Or are we too young for trust, like we are to love? Are we too young to make bonds stronger than the arms of mother nature herself? Are we? Would you? And though you find my preaches dramtic and slightly humorouse I say: Belive them, for they only have one message. I love you, friend, you must understand that becuase one day the sorrow within me might take me away in a beat of a heart. And then nothing can take me back. I say this becuase you tought me one thing, Nothing last forever.   


[Tuesday 6:53pm May 30th]

[ mood | rejected ]

 You’re no longer my wife;So we can never be friends;
If I see you on the street I won’t know you again;I will never speak your name;
And I’ll never miss you;You cheated on me;
Broke your marriage vows in two;
You lied to our friends;
Spent my all my money;
Said you would stay with me till the end;
Bet you thought that was so funny;
If you Grandmother knew the truth;
It would break her heart;
How you whored with seven sisters;
In the back of an old Ford car;
I don’t care if you’re alive;I don’t care if you’re dead;All the fairy tale memories;
Have been washed from my head;
You are nothing to me but a crown of thorns;
I am so glad you’re out of my life;And you will never be mourned.



[Tuesday 6:51pm May 30th]

[ mood | depressed ]

Sitting here with the cat on my bed;
Wishing I had your music playing in my head;
So that it would wash away the lingering pain;
Of dreams that arrived broken in the mail;
Like beached waves from a stormy sea,
The pain rolls in and knocks me to my knees;
And sucks me into a despairing swell and pull’s me under;Been talking with the walking dead;
One hadn’t told his boy who is 10 minus 3;Just how it is going to be at the end of the line;
When the walking is done in a month’s time;When his Father is sleeping in the dirt for all time.
And I have been sleeping with the fishes;
Haunted by dreams of blood on the floor and the walls;
I wish I could give them all their wishes;
Then maybe they would not have to cut anymore;
Four years since the vampire walked out while I cried on the floor;
There’s a crucifix to stop her coming back through the door;I managed to break her evil spell over me;
But things still aren’t the way I want them to be;Is this all there is to this life for me;
Waiting for the call of the bells;
And walking through shadows of pain and misery;
Where lost souls wait for someone to tell.
Jake Holeman



Newbee [Monday 10:36pm May 22nd]

I'm a total newbee of the whole livejournal thing, i love writing poems stories and just like lil things. i have a complete anthology startin back when i was 14. I am totally tormented by life and sum of my stuff is really soppy and gay and others is so dark its scares me.

Check my journal out i needs comments and friends lol. I'm a complete loner at the mo.

Stefi <3
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JOIN MY COMMUNITY [Monday 7:22pm April 24th]

Image hosting by Photobucket
An alt. rating community, for beautiful dolls.

Newb [Saturday 9:21am April 1st]

[ mood | nervous ]


I'm new here, my name is Katrina, I'm 13 and I've been writing since I was like.. 11 I think. I haven't been writing much lately because I haven't had an inspiration. I did manage to get a couple new poems though, I guess I'll post 'em so you can get an idea of what I write about.

Soo.. yeah.
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[Thursday 9:44pm March 16th]

[ mood | crushed ]

ok i just joined but here i go.

i thought you liked me
i guess i was wrong
you flirted with me
i fell for you
i thought i knew you
then you broke my heart
how could you
you asked my friend to prom
not me who i thought you were going to ask
but no you turned me down
just like all guys do to me
they treat me like crap
and i thought you were diffrent
i have to realize all guys
are the same
they all are
jackasses, son of bitches
will i ever find him
the one i know im supposed to be with
when will it be
i hope to be soon

Thanks for reading!!


[Friday 9:18pm February 3rd]

Words are beautiful when you rip them out of your fucking throat and crush them.
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Starry night [Thursday 10:15pm February 2nd]

[ mood | creative ]

I wrote some lyrics and its been fucking ages since i did. So enjoy. Emily. xXx


You say she made you

She made you do it

She forced you to do it

She made you

And there was nothing you could do

You say she dragged you there

Pulled your hair

Took away everything

And pushed you in

You say she tore you away

But if you hated it so much

Then why didn’t you just fuckin stay?

I sat and stared

At a half crescent moon

Wishing you back here

Someday soon.

Howling and crying

While my heart fluttered

And crumbled, dying

I lay and gazed

At a blazing sun

Wishing you back here

For some more

Crazy grrrl fun.

Every day always the same

Shaking and waiting

Sitting and hating

But you never came



Eventually my tears dried up

And my howls shut up

And I fucking gave up

On you.

Not knowing where you are

Or how you are

Or who you are

Or if you’re still alive

Because you never fucking told me

“Keep in touch”

All you do is touch yourself

Cus you’re too selfish

To give shit/

Now I know you’re back

Cus I can smell you from here

Dirty nails

Stale lies

Rotting trails

Chapped thighs/

Back with that self possessed grin

Wishing yourself thin

Wanting to be back in

Well, as long as I live

you’re never coming back in/.

This time

I’ll kick you out

Tear you apart

Like you tore me in two

Rip you in shreds

Like you did to me too

I’ll rip away your fakery

And mockery

And irony

And niceties/

This time I’ll kick you out myself

I’ll kick you out

And wish you out

And throw you out

And tear off your ugly crimson pout

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[Wednesday 10:14pm February 1st]

[ mood | scared ]

welcome to my corner of self indulgence
I love the way the rain sounds
when its beating at my throat
tearing through my lungs
in a crude fashion

we're going to die tonight.

reckless over consumption
has lead me here
on this..binge
we're trying so hard to let it out

its never going to come.

this fear of becoming what we hate
has tracked us down to the core.
now we fear that we've gone too far

this is where you stop forgiving me.

I will comfort the thought of flying away
if you let me go if you just..let me go.
i have felt love and i have felt pain
i fear you but i love you just the same
i wish you existed so that i could love you more
so that i could fall asleep
without the aide of plastic rain
tearing at my lungs again. amen.

It is not my time here.
But I feel everything is going to be alright.

pleasedonthateme♥Collapse )

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Agression of Inner Evils to Never Say Goodbye [Monday 2:58pm January 30th]
[ mood | wah? ]

Obsidian whispers,
carved upon the bloody iron of your heart,
asking, how many wounds
until virtue ascends into drowning black,
into the bottomless haven your mouth as become for lies.
Oh shamefull mouth,
only in deprivation can you aspire,
inspire, transpire to become the colourless beauty of milk soaked bone.
Oh bruised lips,
i'll press my heart against you again and again,
to sway you from your daily chores.

(it didn't say anything about introducing yourself in the rules so I thought I'd start right in with a poem. I wrote it just now so I'm sorry if it's a little choppy. I'm glad to be here. :) )

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